As a seven year old girl my hobby was playing mom to my dolls. I had one plastic doll with beautiful golden curls, she had pink plastic shoes and a battery so she would cry when you shook her. I loved the fact that I could wash her and dry her without her smelling dump, my mom had got me baby clothes and I would change her right after bathing her. My greatest memories were when I would join my mom in the kitchen while she cooked, I would sit on the floor with my playthings and cook for my “little family”, I would chat with my mom about my pretend motherhood and how children were a lot of work.
I'm 23 right now, not a mother yet but I’ve definitely learned that being a real mother isn't like pretend play, It's honestly a lot of work. You're not allowed to leave your baby under the tree while you have lunch inside with the family. Different people raise their children differently, society will however be at the neck of mothers judging them for not doing things right. You will be awake all night when your baby has a fever, then in the morning, you’ll get ready for work and will be expected to give your best. You will experience the fears of loosing your child while doing monthly grocery . You will clean after them and when they grow older, they will frown when you ask them to split chores.
Awhile back while I was watching a video on YouTube, I remember the lady saying how people should stop asking women whether they would consider having children in future. Motherhood is not predictable, not everyone gets to be a mom, not everyone wants to have babies. It's an individual's choice and no one should be pressured into it. Pressuring one can be negative for the children they will have, they will end up pouring the negative energy into their children. It can also get mental for the individual, constantly thinking that they should have a child and when they do, they might be stressed out by the fact that the child is a possible hindrance to the goals they had,where mother hood wasn't involved. This is what leads to favouritism, where the mom loves the children she wanted to have. You might be tempted to say that the mother is to blame for taking it out on a child who had nothing to do with it, but this child serves as reminder that she wasn't ready for the child. It's like wearing perfume and the scent immediately reminds you of a time in your life.
Well it's important to note that while motherhood is harder than you envision it to be, it’s important to find ways of navigating it. More women are embracing being working moms. It's important to find methods to make sure you don't miss out in your child’s life, that you're an active mom regardless. This can be done through utilizing your off days and the weekends to spend at least an hour catching up on your child's progress in school, get to know their hobbies and what they like.
Creating meal plans is also helpful so that you're eating fresh healthy meals. You might be tempted to order takeout from time to time, cause you're busy. Having a meal plan and having a professional chef come over and do a meal prep/batch cooking for you. It's also important to get all the help you can afford, do you need a house help, someone to do your laundry, someone to tend to your garden? The get them, as long as you can afford it and it gives you peace of mind. It's also very important, to make sure you have an understanding and supportive partner who knows that raising a child is not tied down to motherhood , it's tied down to parenthood.
I love this so much! Love that you've acknowledged some of the challenges mothers face